It’s actually been awhile since I have given anyone here any sort of insight into my life, which should be the primary focus of a personal blog such as this. Updates have also been pretty slow, and I’m not really sure I have any good reasons for this. School is certainly hectic, and the last month is upon us all here, and many large assignments are here as the semester winds down/winds up/winds somewhere. Of course, many of these large assignments are extensions of previous assignments in the semester, meaning that the amount of work isn’t so terrifying when you look at it from a certain standpoint. However, the stress of the final month can be extremely overwhelming - though after that week of finals is over, a breath of relief can be sighed as all of the work you have done has come to a successful (or not) conclusion.

Of course, I have my doubts. Most lie in my physics course, and as long as I complete the work for the other classes, I am sure that this will all be fine. So, despite my fear of failing the physics course, I have been working very hard this semester and hope that my efforts will be fruitful. Stress is a not so much of a fun feeling, and I will not miss it after this horribly front loaded semester at all. As it is looking now, my next semester has perhaps 10 hours required, as I do not want to take much more just because I want a much needed break. Three semesters down, and several more to go. I hope that is the case.

Of course, I am mostly able to do this thanks to the help of someone very special to me. I am always paranoid about expressing feelings of someone who I hold close to me on this blog, as the last time I did, I was single three days later. It seems as if I speak of that incident in lament, when now that I look at it, I am happy it all happened; and regret ever going in such a direction with that girl. I could care less about that person anymore, as she has completely shattered my expectations of how stupid a person can be, and gave up so many opportunities for, how my mother put it, “a dick”. And she wasn’t speaking about the shortened form of Richard or a jerky person, but rather the slang term for the male sexual organ. I have absolutely no respect for that person anymore, and I don’t see how anyone could.

I am happy though. Extremely happy. Everyone, even if they don’t admit it, wishes that some day, some where, they can find someone that they can truly care about - and have that feeling truly reciprocated. It is really the most amazing feeling in the world, and I love this girl with all my heart. Even though it has been a relatively short time, just over three months since our first date, I feel no apprehension in saying ever that. It feels so amazingly right with this girl. I have no doubts that this is something truly special, as we just click on so many levels. I really feel that this is going to last. Hopefully for as long as we both live. That would be the greatest thing I could ever wish for, and it really is a dream come true. I could never want to be with anyone else, and being with someone as loving and supportive as she is makes this all so very worth it.

Being with someone though, you always tend to have doubts. You tend to care more about appearances; which of course has been obvious ever since I cut my hair and started shaving regularly. Still being adolescent in body, and mind of course, acne still ravages my face and body when I don’t want it to; especially my back, which is incredibly scarred thanks to the ineffectiveness of the treatment I tried last year, and my general apathy of trying anything else. It is still likely a hormonal issue, and I hope it will clear out in the next year. I’m not a fan of harsh medications, but they do manage to clean up my face at least, giving my outward appearance a much needed clearing up.

Speaking of getting older though, I’m turning 20 in ten days. Of course, I’m now older, and that comes with a slowed metabolism. I’ve been putting on some weight, if any of you can believe that, and it’s a little discouraging. While not a huge deal, it’s a bit of a shock to the system when you have stayed a certain weight for just over 7 years. Of course, weight does shift, and a loss of muscle weight can be made up for in just pure fat. Laziness is a horrible thing to get into, but such a sedentary lifestyle is never good by any means. I should start working out, but that is all dependent on when I actually have time to do so.

I apologize for not being the best host to the few people that follow this. I could always take the approach of many other blogs, and talk about hot topic current events, even though I have already talked about these things in my last post, such as the success of President-Elect Barack Obama, and the passing of California Proposition 8. In a state with such a large gay population, that has to be such a sting to so many people that have that particular preference. I myself am particularly angered by support of the proposition by the LDS church, which is headquartered in Salt Lake City. One could make the argument that what they did was completely against the constitutional statute separating church and state, which it clearly was in violation of by giving over $48 million over in support of the measure. But truly, even though I hold no beliefs of my own, isn’t it ultimately the god in which you believe that decides whether or not such things are right in their eyes. And as those living underneath this umbrella, it should be our responsibility as individuals to determine what is right and wrong; moral and immoral; not the decisions of a collection of leading figures who should not be any closer to the god of choice than you might be. It should be up to the individual, and people should really not be so closed minded to such harmless things as two people of the same sex being in love and wanting to be bonded together in the curious monogamous relationships that we as homo sapiens tend to lean towards.

So, this entire monologue was a bit of a mental dump, but as this place hasn’t seen a whole lot of love lately, I thought I would give it my first and foremost attention with this particular post. I am happier than I have ever been, and I really have to owe these amazing times to my amazing girlfriend. So, I hope for the next month that I will be more inspired to write more for this neglected and forgotten mess, and maybe even bring back the few people that used to read it for some sort of insight upon this curious place I call my mind. But, as I said, my hands are usually full, and I don’t write a lot when I’m happy. And I owe that all to one person.

I love you Jordan. :)

School is not something I normally enjoy. Well, I do, but it’s not something that I tend to want to do on a Saturday night. Like blogging. I enjoy this so much that I do it on such a regular basis providing people with a bunch of horrible things to read that they likely will never comment on. It’s a thankless job, but it is rewarding!

Three weeks after the start of my sophomore year in a university. Three weeks for it to all get rolling. Three weeks for the sense of urgency and dread to set in. The life of a student. And it only picks up from this. Thirteen hour days, an exam every week to look forward to, a veritable bounty of homework and fun.

So, I’m sorry to those of you that read this to be entertained for whatever reason. School, among other things, have been keeping me fairly occupied. I’ll try and get something new here whenever I have the time, but there just isn’t much to talk about! Life is great… which means I rarely ever blog. What a stupid reason to not blog, but that’s just how I roll, son.

Crazy Miranda
lives on propaganda she believes anything she reads

Irrelevant quote, but I’m listening to my new Jefferson Airplane record (Bark – kudos for spotting it Jordan!). But, after a summer of being incredibly lazy, I am starting another semester of school tomorrow. And, it’s going to be a fun nineteen credit hours. I feel like I’m insane – especially considering how badly I did my first year.

You’re only as pretty as you feel.

Calming nerves with the psychedealic weirdness of Jefferson Airplane. It works. But I spent my day making everything organized and such. Lunches, books, even my desk (for once). But, the feeling of dread of the upcoming semester does not seem to subside. It’s here! How the hell did Edwin do twenty-three hours!?

Oh well. I have something to do with my time again. Fun stuff.

Excuse me while I go and shoot myself.